Staying in a Christian marriage for the wrong reason: Part 1

STAYING IN A MARRIAGE FOR THE WRONG REASON:

Beloved’s this is not an easy topic to discuss because many hold so different views to marriage and divorce even from the Word of God. Many will hold different opinions on this I am sure. I am going to put forth in this first post: What I am seeing as the enemies tactics to destroy marriages but worse to birth ungodly marriages that will yoke the true believer with the wrong spouse even if they say they love and want to serve God, but they NEVER WILL!

Let me preface this by saying I have worked over 27 years to bring healing and restoration of marriages whenever possible. I have counseled people who have committed adultery on their partner, and marriages where the spouse had mental, emotional, and even addictions in their life. God's will is to heal and restore those marriages birthed in his will who are willing to change, repent, and walk in the love of God for one another.

Yet, there is a very sinister plot of the enemy being hatched to not only destroy marriages but to make ungodly ones that will eventually destroy the spouse that loves God and make children who will be like Eli's sons and do wickedly in the house of God.

I'm writing this because of what I am seeing in the house of God and even in my own family members the attack of the enemy not just to destroy marriages but the very life and calling of the spouse and children in their relationship with God.

A “false religious” mindset rooted in a wrong understanding of the heart of God would leave men and women in marriage that were never chosen by God, or marriages that were birthed in deception of one spouse marrying someone just to fill their own lust and needs. 

Beloved, we are witnessing one of the greatest onslaught against Christian young single men and women we have ever seen. We have a generation of Christian youth and young adults that feel that it is OK to “live together” everyone else is doing it. This is the 21st Century.

We have teenagers believing that anything but fornication is OK to do with a young girl they are seeing before marriage. They can touch them and do whatever they want to them as long as they don’t go “all the way.”

We have Christian parents excepting this as normal and right and are afraid to confront their children with the truth of God’s word. Plus, I have seen the enemy put Christian young men “players” in the teens language to tell the young Christian girl everything they want to hear like in the world just to get in bed with them.

I heard with my own ears how one young women was coerced by this young man that premarital sex was God’s plan and he would read scriptures to her telling her that is God’s will while having sex with her. Another young woman who seduced her young man to have some type of premarital sex convinced him it was a type of therapy for her. I joke not.

Many of these same ones end up after the damage is done to them marrying prematurely, or the wrong person that God never intended for them. Some have been so hurt they end up marrying even another Christian out of the rebound that God never chose. So now we have marriages that are a mess and disaster and were never God’s will.

The righteous spouse often end up with much hurt, heartache and depression,  and if there are children involved the children now face each day a choice between the pleasures of the world of sin lived by one of the parents and the other parent trying to serve God and not compromise.  

97% of the time the children choose the ways of the unbelieving or carnal christian parent who is having a love affair with the world. They end up despising the righteous parent and loving the compromising one.In one family where the mom was the saved one and the father unsaved most of the children called their mom the "B" word a lot of the times and sided with the Father's way of life and not the Godly mother.

The result and fruit in these children is that they often become alcoholics, adulterers, drug addicts and worse and the kids get damaged for life. That last statement is the real work of the devil. He tries to put people in ungodly marriages knowing that a “religious spirit” will tell them, you can’t get out of this marriage, you need to stay in it to sanctify the mate, yet the whole entire marriage it never happens and the children never serve the Lord. Is that what God rally wants?

In my prayer time to help minister to some family members who really need wise counsel on what is happened and happening in their marriages God led me to some wonderful men and women of God that had a Godly perspective of these things with the scriptural support to show why God is intervening in ungodly marriages now.

If you have a different take on things so be it, but the assault is not just to destroy marriages it is now to build ungodly ones that will breed off-springs of rebellion and compromise against God and his will.

 Children who are lukewarm and will tolerate Jezebel and bring even more worldliness and compromise into the house of God and their families. They will be tolerating Jezebel and be th be cast on a bed of affliction or spewed out of the mouth of God.  

Beloved's Satan's purpose is to destroy a Godly nation by producing UNGODLY OFFSPRING in the house of God and in this nation!

Below are some excerpts from:

Staying in a Marriage for the Wrong Reasons:

“For how do you know, O wife, whether YOU will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether YOU will save your wife?” (1Corinthians 7:16).

The implication is that we can actually continue to stay married for the wrong reasons. The emphasis here is whether YOU will save your spouse. For when we think we can do God’s job to pressure someone to become a Christian or believe the way we believe, we are in grave danger.

For NO ONE can come to Jesus “unless the FATHER ...draws Him...” (John 6:44). For we can actually be trying to lead someone to the Lord and be out of God’s will because it may not be OUR place or the right time.

(However, we are always to be an example of who God is, and what He stands for; not to be slaves, imprisoned by the threats and or beatings of ungodly men.)

The word “save” also means to deliver, heal, restore to proper order, or to make whole. The idea to save is often found in new marriages where one of the partners “thinks” that they can change the other or cause them to be free of some sort of problem such as drugs, rage, alcohol, or crime.

But after much pain they find out it doesn’t normally work that way. It takes God to change a person’s heart and to free them from such things.  ( I have seen this in my own family and it has ended up a disaster for the spouce and the children)

The Wuest translation put it this way: For “ONLY as the Lord has assigned to each one his lot [in life], as God has called each one, IN THAT WAY let him be ordering his manner of life...” (1Corinthians 7:17).

Many have taken this Scripture to mean that the spouse that wants to walk with God is supposed to submit to the ungodliness of the other spouse. This is foolishness!

The real questions for this Scripture are, “what has the LORD assigned to each of us as our lot in life? As we walk in that assignment, how shall we order our manner of living?”The answer to both of these questions must culminate into this one thing. “Be holy, for I am holy” (1Peter 1:16).

Some have even said that if a wife for instance, is in a bad marriage, whether they’re being abused or however their husband is treating them, that that is their lot from God.

This is nothing but foolishness and stupidity in its purest sense.

They don’t know it’s the “...GOODNESS OF GOD [that] leads you to repentance” (Romans 2:4). An abusive type of environment in the home is just not good.

A healthy home environment is brought about by seeking “...those things which are above, where Christ is...” (Colossians 3:1).

How can a person live a godly life and at the same time submit that life to someone who practices ungodliness?

“For either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other...” (Matthew 6:24). 

You cannot love the Lord your God with all your heart while lowering and yielding yourself and your children to accept, partake and participate in things that the Lord Himself detests.

Did you read that Beloved? YOU CAN NOT LOVE GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART WHILE LOWERING AND YIELDING YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN TO ACCEPT, PARTAKE, AND PARTICIPATE IN THINGS THAT GOD HATES AND DETEST!

What has the Lord assigned as our lot in life? Surely it can’t be a life you hate so much you want to die to escape the pain. No! The Scriptures are so powerfully clear. Let’s take a look:

For “...we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Therefore COME OUT FROM AMONG THEM AND BE SEPARATE, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you! I will be a father to you and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.

THEREFORE, HAVING THESE PROMISES, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God” (2Corinthians 6:16b-17:1).

If that’s not powerful enough, the Scripture also says to, “Let love be without hypocrisy. ABHOR WHAT IS EVIL. CLING TO WHAT IS GOOD” (Romans 12:9).

HOW COULD YOU NOT HATE EVIL, AND TRULY LOVE, AT THE SAME TIME! 

That is HYPOCRITICAL LOVE!  HYPOCRITICAL LOVE DOES NOT HATE EVIL.  AGAIN.........HYPOCRITICAL LOVE DOES NOT HATE EVIL! 

HYPOCRITICAL LOVE ALLOWS EVIL TO LIVE BESIDE IT IN ITS OWN HOME!!!

LOVE MUST HATE EVIL TO BE TRUE IN ITSELF. "Let our love be WITHOUT hypocrisy."

Otherwise, it’s not love at all, but bondage. And for one to “cling” to that which is good, one must at the same time separate from that which is evil.

As we move closer to that which is good, there is always a moving away from that which is evil. TRUE LOVE ALWAYS HATES EVIL!

It says in Proverbs 3:6, “IN ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.”

How can we, in all our ways acknowledge God and receive direction, if we are united to a spouse who does not want to follow God’s ways and doesn’t want us to either? The marriage will produce constant strife. God wants us to live in peace.

A Nation: A Reflection of Marriages:

Why does God command us not to marry outside of His family, and specifically, for us to ask Him to choose our mate for us?

What is behind satan’s strategy in hurrying us to marry without first seeking God and waiting for the mate that He is so delightfully preparing for us?

God is the one who created the Earth and the fullness thereof. The whole world and all of creation was given to the first man, Adam to rule over. Adam gave it over to satan and now both righteousness and evil cohabitate in the same world (See Luke 4:6, Proverbs 18:21).

Because of this there must be a separation between the two natures. Therefore, we must choose between the nature of “Life,” and the nature of “Death” (See Deuteronomy 30:19).

Satan’s strategy for the husband or wife is to have an unrighteous spouse, thereby mixing the godly with the ungodly and producing unrighteous children.

REPEAT:  RED ALERT::::: RED ALERT:::: RED ALERT!

Satan’s strategy for the husband or wife is to have an unrighteous spouse, thereby mixing the godly with the ungodly and producing unrighteous children.

Because the children are our future leaders, they will lead the people away from God and from doing right. “For righteous exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people” (Proverbs 14:34).

THESE OFFSPRING WILL LEAD PEOPLE AWAY FROM GOD AND DOING WHAT IS RIGHT!

Moreover, when a fair portion of that generation of children lives out their corruption and unrighteous, the future of the nation is in jeopardy.

THIS IS WHAT WE ARE SEEING NOW IN OUR NATION. YOUNG PEOPLE CALLOUS TO GOD, THEIR PARENTS, BECAUSE THEY ARE BEING DRAWN AWAY FROM GOD TO THE PLEASURES OF THIS WORLD. 

SATAN DESIRES TO HAVE MARRIAGES THAT PRODUCE THE POWER TO DESTROY FAMILIES AND A NATION BY THE MERGING OF THE GODLY WITH THE UNGODLY! 

THIS IS WHAT HIS SCHEME WAS TO USE DECEPTION TO GET ISRAEL CURSED BY GOD BY MARRYING THE UNGODLY!

NUMBER 25: While Israel was staying at Shittim, the men began to have sex with Moabite women ² who invited the people to the sacrifices offered to their gods.  

The people ate the meat from the sacrifices and worshiped these gods. ³ Since the Israelites joined in worshiping the god Baal of Peor, the Lord became angry with Israel.

GOD THEM COMMANDED MOSES TO DO THE FOLLOWING:

⁴ The Lord said to Moses, “Take all the leaders of the people, and execute them in broad daylight in the Lord’s presence. This will turn the Lord’s anger away from Israel.”

⁵ So Moses said to the judges of Israel, “Each of you must kill the men who have joined in worshiping the god Baal of Peor.”

⁶ One of the Israelite men brought a Midianite woman to his brothers. He did this right in front of Moses and the whole community of Israel while they were crying at the entrance to the tent of meeting.  

⁷ Phinehas, son of Eleazar and grandson of the priest Aaron, saw this. So he left the assembly, took a spear in his hand, ⁸ and went into the tent after the Israelite man. He drove the spear through the man and into the woman’s body. Because of this, the plague that the Israelites were experiencing stopped. ⁹ However, 24,000 people died from that plague.

Look at what God had to do to get the sin out of the camp and save his people? Does he want to kill everyone? No, but the sin of mixture in the marriage had to be removed. 

HOW WILL GOD INTERVENE TO SAVE US AND DELIVER THOSE WHO ARE IN WRONG RELATIONSHIPS AND WRONG MARRIAGES: 

Beloved's, What would God do to help save a Christian man or woman or their children from being with the ones that will live a life of unrighteousness and doing evil in God’s sight?

It is in these cases in a Christian marriage where the spouse will not serve God and is leading his family away fro God or one that is one spouse save and the other not saved, he will use separation and divorce as a method to save the spouse and the children.

When the desire to marry comes from our own selfish heart, for our own selfish purpose, and for our own selfish gratification, you can be assured that disaster is looming in the air. 

I have seen this with my own eyes in my own family, and their marriages were a disaster or continue to be a disaster made by their own hands and own choices!

“Did not Solomon, King of Israel, sin by these things? Yet among many nations there was no king like him, who was beloved of his God; and God made him King over all Israel. Nevertheless, pagan women caused even him to sin” (Nehemiah 13:26). This caused Solomon’s whole nation to crumble, because families make up a nation.

Therefore, when separating or divorce comes from God’s heart through man, it’s to save people.  (DID YOU READ THAT! IT IS TO SAVE PEOPLE!)

That is whether the marriage went bad, or was bad from the beginning. God is doing the separating to have a righteous people, for “righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people.”

Verbal Abuse: The power of witchcraft and control:

Beloved I have family members right now that have been destroyed by this attack of the enemy and are totally deceived in believing they are OK! I have seen it in other families as well.

I am not going to discuss physical or sexual abuse because there are many good books written on the subject already. I’d rather expose the other two types of abuse that are rarely ever mentioned. Here is the fruit of verbal abuse:

1. A person can be so verbally abused that they don’t know what’s true anymore.

2. This abuse is designed to put a person in a numb state so they are unable to make clear, concise decisions.

3. The path of verbal abuse leads a person from what they know as truth into a confused state.

4. This confused state arises because the abuser consistently interjects lies as truth until the abused no longer knows what to believe.

5. For example, we can see this happen when the abuser uses truths from the Bible to justify a lie, or the abuser twists the Bible’s true intent to satisfy his own selfish motive. (God would not want you to divorce me, he would want you to pray for me, while I leave you homeless, steal in grocery stores, take your car with no license, pawn your birthday gifts, steal your money and use it for my habit, but you must forgive me like Jesus does?)

There is truth in those words somewhat about forgiveness and praying for them, but staying with them is A LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL!

6. The sad part comes when the abused embraces the lies from the abuser as truth, thereby disregarding the real truth.  (AGAIN I HAVE SEEN THIS WITH MY OWN EYES)

7. At this point the abused feels like they are in chains of bondage with no way out. So they often stay in the abusive situation because they deserve it.

 8. A trusted godly person is like a life preserver to the abused at this point. For “the mouth of the righteous is a well of life” (Proverbs 10:11a).

9. There are three very important factors in verbal abuse. They are deception, confusion and reality or truth.

10. We go through these steps during our lives until our belief system is built on a firm foundation of truth. The verbally abused spend most of their lives without a foundation of truth in their hearts and minds, but are in continual deception and confusion.

11. Confusion is a path — a means to reality (truth). Confusion is good ONLY when leaving deception and entering into reality (truth). When the Scripture says, “...God is not the author of confusion...” (1Corinthians 14:33), it is saying that GOD DOES NOT GIVE BOTH TRUTH AND A LIE TO DECIDE FROM. HE IS TRUTH!

It is through deception and abuse many young woman and men are seduced into relationships that are not from God. They never were from God no matter how Godly they looked and God things they said. FRUIT DOES NOT LIE. KNOW A TREE BY IT’S FRUIT!

Young man or women who loves God, you are not trapped by your mistakes or wrong choices. Repent and admit to God you were looking for love in all the wrong places. Tell the Lord you will turn around and be open for him to show you why this relationship is ungodly and must be broken now, before the children or future children you may have is destroyed, or that you marry the wrong person God never picked for you and live a disaster for a life. That is not God’s will for you. 

God hates divorce, but he hates unrighteousness even more. If that spouse is going to lead you away from God, His ways, his call upon your life and children, then God would release you from someone intended to destroy you and your kids. The choice is whether you want to be destroyed or have your children destroyed staying loyal to evil and not to God.