A missionary tale: Love-bonds of intimacy.

Dear Beloved Readers,

Again, it has been too long since I have had the opportunity to write. Truthfully, it has been a very difficult season of the Lord for all of us. The economy and the world situation is in so much upheaval that everyone seems to have pushed the "pause"button in their lives. Beloved, we must keep pressing through it all!

I recently was able to see the movie, "Fireproof" with Kirk Cameron. It was excellent, I encourage all my readers to go and see it. The movie was the testimony of my life and marriage, and the very lessons it demonstrates are the very lessons God Himself had to teach about intimacy and becoming the Husband He created me to be. In learning how to become a Husband to my wife, I learned (still am) learning how to be His Bride.

Our mission trip to Africa was such a wonderful and learning experience for all of us of these great truths.. Going to another nation, learning their culture and the way they do things is an excellent lesson for us to learn.We are taught "how to be missionaries' and to relate correctly to our host culture. This is most needed training to travel. Most of my missionary journeys to this point have been here in the USA ,Mexico and in South Africa. I learned a lot about the world and God' people by going to these places.

Though we in America do things much differently than most of other nations, there is still a common thread that is bigger than us learning each other's culture, diet and ways of life.That thread I have seen is called the Love of God, and a "Passion for Christ." That love and devotion for Jesus alone and loving one another is what allows us to overcome our cultural differences, lifestyles, etc.

God has such a sense of humor. He sends this fellow who has never eaten Mexican food growing up, except Taco Bell, to be a missionary to Mexico. Go figure! Can you could imagine what a "task" that was for me since I never ate real Mexican food before. I had to eat things I had never had eaten before like Menudo, and like most human beings found out, some things I would like, and somethings I would not and Menudo is one I do not like, SORRY! Enchilada's YIPPEE, DELICIOUSO!!!

What I learned was that it was OK to be human and not like a particular type of food and find one that I liked. I have watched some say to the host,"this is very good, and after they left, said it was awful." I will let you decide on that one. I learned to find the food that I could eat, and then I ate that one continually when presented. My host knew, I was sincere when I told them I liked the food, because my plate was empty! Being a missionary doesn't mean being a liar! It means to eat what is before you, but God knows what you can eat and what you can't. I learned that if I couldn't eat something, at least try everything. In this way I would learn what I could tolerate and show my gratitude for what they prepared. Even at times when we weren't always hungry, we ate some because our host prepared it with all the love in their heart for us. Plus eating together was a wonderful way to get to know one another in the Lord.

In most countries, our host would recognize what foods we were eating and began to offer us the foods that seemed comfortable to us. In South Africa, the Pastor even as we arrived asked us what we liked to eat. I guess that is what the gift of hospitality is all about. Love and hospitality take an intimate learning of one another with a desire to be a blessing as God has made us to be.. It would have been easy for our host just to keep serving us what they wanted, but they were observant, kind and loving in every nation I have gone to and ministered to our real needs.

They took time to learn what we liked to eat and found that type of food for us. I didn't sense a bit of complaining on their part, matter of fact I saw the love of God trying to make us know we were loved and cared for as family. I know when we have visitors come to minister at our headquarters, I and our team have always done our utmost to find out the "things they like" to make them feel at home and comfortable. We don't do this to get a reward, but because I and we love them so very much and want to bless them.

One of the things I have been blessed by is those who have come to minister with us have said, "you have made us feel like part of the family and at home." You see, beloved that is what love does! That is what love notices. The little things that mean something to you become a joy to do from the ones that are hosting you. I love to do that. When we have guest ministers, I like to leave them something special in their rooms, from favorite foods, to soaps, to whatever I can do to bless them.

I do this because they are a gift from God. I don't just do that for ministers, but I try to do that for everyone God brings in my path. It takes a lot of work, time and effort to really get to know someone, but if you listen carefully you may hear things they may say they like. Then it becomes love and joy to get them these things or do them for your guests because you know it would bless them. One of our missionary team members had a great fall before our trip and needed at least two visits to a chiropracter a week and a massage. We knew it was important for her to get in South Africa. The Pastor was so willing that he made the time to take us there and was even willing to pay for it for her in demonstration of that love. Doesn't sound like traditional missionary work does it, and it may not be. Our mission was to develop true and lasting love-bonds.

I have a little pet peeve and that is Starbucks coffee. I laugh with our ministry team in Colorado because I tell them, "Don't worry about feeding me, just please if you could just get me a Starbucks coffee, I would be so happy." I know it is a little thing, and I have surely gone without it where there are no Starbucks, but when someone would get close to me enough, and love me enough, to know that is something that makes me happy and does that, it really speaks to my heart they love and care for me in a "special way." This is "quality of love, not the quantity of love."

A cup of Starbucks is no big deal, but when someone knows that this is something I like and they get it for me, it speaks that this person loves me enough to know the small things that please me. I don't ever demand that, and what I said about the coffee to them was a joke verses food. But, it did let them know me a little bit deeper as to what is important to me and what is not.

I told some,in our ministry I am probably not the best missionary in the world. I have severe allergies, I have some medicals situations waiting to be healed, and some quirky things about me. I wish I could just dive in and be a missionary with "no needs." I have not yet have had to sleep on the floor, in a hut, or open air. I pray that if God leads me that way He would give me the strength to do it. I have hardly suffered compared to what the martyrs are suffering for Christ in other nations. These precious souls give up their physical life, freedom, liberty, and are tortured all for the name of Christ. My suffering is light in comparison. What I am talking about in this blog is LOVE'S EXPRESSION in the House of God!

As I study the word of God and read of Paul "s travels, I see him going to Priscilla and Aquila's home, Eunice's home and other places, and noticed how well they took care of this man of God out of love. In South Africa, this is what they demonstrated for us, and displayed this love of God to us continually. These precious saints gave us the best they had. Not that we asked for that, but they were so attentive to our needs. They listened and watched carefully on what we liked and needed.

From bottled water to fresh fruit and juices, they lovingly went out of their way to get them for us. Those of you who know me know why eating can be a problem for me, and I tried my best to eat what was before me. But because of a medical situation, I had to pick and choose carefully what I had to eat. There are foods in other countries that just don't agree with your dietary customs or ability to eat. I got a word from a man at home in Colorado, not to drink the milk while I was there. The Lord woke him up for him to tell me that. Now if I had "ate what was before me or drank it" after God told me not to, I would have rebelled against the Lord. Who knows what would have happened to me?

This put me in a difficult position, for I had to tell my host I could not drink the liquid milk. Do you know what they did? They went out and got me powered milk with the greatest love in their hearts. When they found out my medical condition in eating, they changed the preparation of the food to accommodate me. I didn't want to be a burden, so I did not tell them being a "good missionary." However; I have learned when you are a family those little things are not burdens but opportunities to love. Here in America, we always want to "break even, often to where it cost us nothing but our time." This is not intimacy, but work bond relationships. They function in our present state of the church, but they rarely change it to understand what love really looks like.

At our first national conference in Williamsburg Va, the people there were also incredible. They so took care of us as if they had known us all their lives. They helped with our stay, provided money for our food, and yes they even put out a full spread of food for all our team and all the people that came to the conference. Even after that, they attended to our needs. We went to one person's house, and they gave us a feast and listened intently at what God had for them. We were taken out to dinner and provided an offering as well. We didn't ask for these things, they went far and above in showing us the love of God.

In Greeley Colorado, the family there also has welcomed us as their own family. They always try to make sure our needs are met when we come to them and are so appreciative of the gifts God has given us to pour on them. We have had incredible outpourings of God's love even as they opened up their hearts to love us and one another. These are just a few examples of that love. Yet, beloved there still is a deeper specific and special love that God has for each one of us which is the reason why I am writing this. We can't put our missionary travels all in one box. There is the clasical missionary trips which pioneer new works at great sacrifice, there are building project mission trips and much more. The first work God asked me to do in Flame of Fire was to "establish the Kindgom of God in men's hearts and develop real and genuine love-bonds.

I know I still have a lot to learn about this, and I wish I could say I love perfectly but not yet! It seems only here in America these "extra" things become a burden for us to do for one another. It takes a lot of love and a lot of listening to really "know" someone and what is important to them. So it is with God. Have you ever wondered what makes Him happy? Have you ever thought about what His desires are? How about the things that bless His heart the most?

Unfortunately Beloved, not many even know they can know God like that. Most of our walk with God is based on what God can do for me. Who will take time to know the secrets of God's heart? We often think the secrets are prophetic mysteries of the end times, a present word of the Lord, a new level of anointing, answering our ministry call is what pleases that special place in Him.What I am trying to teach in this blog is this, finding the deepest desires of his heart and what truly satisfies Him from His perspective and not ours. Let me give you an example.

I am going to reflect back to a time when I got very busy "working" for the Lord. I didn't have time to worship Him on my Keyboard for a long time. Finally after a month or so, I stopped working for a moment and started to worship Him again on my keyboard with singing. I felt His heavy presence come upon me and I wept and wept. I asked the Lord, "why am I crying like this?" He answered, " I missed you playing the keyboard for me." Of course beloved when I heard those words, I really lost it then. I cried out to Him, " Lord I didn't even know you noticed me when I was singing and playing to you." He said, "that is what I love the most about you and it so blesses My heart." So much for more prophetic teachings, ministry, or new levels of anointing, power and place in God!

I found something much more rich and valuable to me and to Him. The love I was pouring out upon Him, satisfied Him more than all the work I was doing for Him. This was the beginning of my journey of intimate love. Like most, I often get caught up working in the Lord and yet His gentle tug brings me home to what most satisfies Him most. Just to show you that this desire is a two way street of intimacy with God, I will share another testimony from my end of the deal as well.

One day I heard the Lord tell me to go to San Marino's restaurant in Waterbury Ct.This restaurant was one my favorite places to eat Italian food, better than Olive Garden for me! I was Pasturing at that time and was very familiar with this restaurant because we had Pastor's meetings there. I felt for sure God was sending me there on a mission.

As I walked up to the entrance, I prayed for God to show me who He wanted me to witness to. As I was seated, I stared around the room and prayed in tongues quietly to see who God was sending me to. After 10 minutes I had no witness I was to minister to anyone at all. Then I said to myself it must be my server that I am to witness to. I prayed for God to give me something for her and I got nothing.

Now, I am getting very frustrated because I was not hearing anything from God on who to minister to. A moment later, the Lord speaks to my heart to order your favorite meal. I only had $15, so I ordered it with an ice water. I needed to leave the server a tip. As I wait for my meal, I decide to go to the bar area to see if there is anyone there God wants me to witness to, but I found no one.

I really thought I missed it now and was very upset. I got back to my seat and told the Lord I was sorry for coming there. I thought I really heard His voice in coming there, but I missed it. I did not finish those words out of my mouth when the Lords' presence drowned me in love. I became overwhelmed in that love, and I began to weep at my table trying not to bring any attention to myself. The server came and delivered my food and asked me if I was alright and I said yes, thank you.

As soon as she left, I lost it more and cried in my hands. I asked the Lord, "what are you doing to me." He replied, "Isn't this your favorite restaurant?" Yes, Lord you know it is. "Is this not your favorite meal?" Yes, Lord it is! Then why can't I bring you to your favorite restaurant to eat your favorite food and have lunch with you right here, right now to let you know how much I do so love you." I WAS UNDONE!

Some of you reading this, may doubt this is true. That is OK, you don't have to believe me. I know it is true. I have never felt loved like that in my life! My God loved me enough to know me that intimately! He desired to have lunch with me, and make me one with Him, while I ate my favorite food at my favorite restaurant! How is that for love!

I surely was seated at His banqueting table, and His banner over me was love" SOS 2:2-4. My God knew me like that, and this same God says, "love one another as I have loved you." Now, perhaps what I wrote about knowing one another, and finding the things that would bless someones heart, is a sign and a token of what true and intimate love really is! Then this teaching will make sense to you.

He could have taken me to Taco Bell and did the same thing, but Taco Bell was not my favorite place or food.. He could have chosen to give me what he liked to eat, if it were possible for me to learn that way. No Beloved, He took me to where I liked to eat, and gave me my favorite food because He knew me and loved me! I didn't ask for this, I would have been happy with popcorn from God, but this was to teach me a valuable lesson about knowing His heart and Him knowing mine. How can we truly say we love each other with out this kind of intimacy?

Many people have gotten me things they "thought" I liked or wanted, as a gift and I am very grateful for these gifts. Please don't take this out of context as if I would not be grateful. The word says, "eat whatever is front of you with gladness and thanksgiving. Amen! But how much more beloved, when a brother or sister prepares you your favorite meal without you asking them to do so? When they have done this I have asked them, "How did you know that was my favorite food or item?" They smiled at me and said, " I prayed and asked the Lord, and I listened carefully to Him and you."

There is a deeper blessing for those will take the time to know a person, and give the gifts that our special to their heart. This is what it means to be intimate with one another, and even more with God Himself. We can never demand these things and neither does God, but when you truly know someone, you know the secrets of their hearts.Then with the love of God motivating you to respond to their heart's desire, it becomes a joy to give these things to the one you love and it is never a burden.

I don't give my wife flowers every time I want to be nice to her anymore. I used to think candy and flowers were all women needed. I gave her gifts and she was grateful, but she WAS NOT SPECIAL! After a while of giving her the same thing over and over, she even lost that gratefulness because it was not what she needed or wanted. I was Stupid AYE!! I was not "intimate"with her, because I could not truly see her real needs or desires.

Now, I have learned differently. Today, I may do the laundry, or take her out for coffee just to let her share her day with me. She didn't need flowers everyday, but she did need someone who would listen to her heart and see her true needs. HUM! I wonder if we get a sneak preview into the heart of God's desire here? I wonder if God is looking for so much more when we come together on Sunday morning than 7 songs, 15 minutes of announcements, 40 minutes of preaching, 30 minutes of praying over people and then going home. I wonder if that really satisfies his deepest desires or ours? Just a thought?

Intimacy requires listening and learning the other persons deepest hearts desires. Why, because those things are what makes that person "feel loved and special!" For my wife, taking her for coffee and just listening to her tell me about her day and how her students did today was special to her. Imagine if I came home and said, Hi Honey, here is some candy and flowers. Today she may have had a terrible day with a student and maybe she needed to share that with me for prayer and councel, but I want to give her flowers. Maybe in our beginnng walk together those things may have comforted her, but now we are WAY PAST THAT, and what she REALLY NEEDS is a listening heart and a caring husband to pray with her. We must understand thatGod's love is special and specific love. It says in 1st John chapter 3:1 Amp. "See what an incredible quality of love that God has bestowed upon us, that would permit us to be the children of God."

Yes, I can show love by being a martyr and denying myself, picking up my cross and following Him. I could spend my last $10 on candy and flowers and say, "here I am honey, I love you." Yet in my "self sacrifice" miss the whole purpose and plan of what love really looks like. The candy and flowers surely was one way of demonstrating love, but in this case,it is not intimate love that knows what the other really needs!. I think to really love someone enough we must learn what makes them happy and what pleases them from theirs and God's perspective. This is the ultimate expression of intimacy and what love really is.That is why we are commanded to love our wives, as Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for it!

Love is not just a matter of eating what is front of you being a "good missionary without complaing, or even going without stuff." It is much more! It is knowing what is pleasing to another, and doing all you can to give whatever that may be in the love of God. If it is to sacrifice by not taking anything with you, than do that as He writes in Mathew chapter 10, the workman is worthy of His wages. If it is to eat only what is set before you with joy, do that. But you may find that the deeper love is finding out what the other could eat and preparing their favorite food, even in a foreign land. This is what we saw in South Africa!

When our hosts in South Africa found out we enjoyed pizza, they got it for us almost everyday (our favorites, not what they picked) with great love in their hearts. Their hearts were to find us food we could enjoy while we were with them.It was costly for them, and if this were a "typical" missionary venture you would probably be appauled at that thought. It may not even sound right to you. But our God, through out the whole time we were there, gave the Pastor of the church a miracle of supernatural provision of Rands for his needs and to take care of us!

But beloved, we didn't go on a "typical" missionary venture, we went to be family with our precious brother and sisters in Christ and establish love-bonds. This family of God in South Africa demonstrated that love for us and treated us like royalty though we never asked or expected that. It was humbling beyond words! God put this in their hearts for us, and He put it in our hearts for them as well to find out what made them happy, and to find out what their true needs were. The Lord instructed us to take them all out to dinner. The money could have been used differently, but the Lord spoke to me to take them out and let them know how special they were to Him. This was the beginning of a new day for them to see the favor of the Lord increase in their life and ministry.

The kids wanted to go to McDonalds. This would have been a bigger treat for them.So I asked the Pastor if we could take the children and them for a day at McDonald's. These kids were so blessed and knew that God loved them so much to do this special thing just for them. So much for "traditional thinking" here! Yes, the money could have done other things to help the poor or build something, but in this moment He saw their need. Their need to know that their God was a good God and wanted to give them a special gift from his heart. It was even their Son's Famous, (his name) Birthday!

We experienced this love and gratitude for us coming there like you could not believe. I am still getting thank you notes and testimonies of what God has done there. They are longing for us to come back and we are longing for them to be here with us and us with them. Beloved, What does love look like? Could there be even the slightest truth of God's intimate love in this teaching for you? Because of the love-bond God has started with us, with joy we can give ourselves up as He did to meet our spiritual family's true needs as God would desire.

Beloved, this is the real work God deeply birthed in our hearts here in the USA family, and in the hearts of our family in South Africa. We are now seeking God to labor together in this love bond relationship even to this day. They are our family, and we are theirs. Their lives are our lives, and our lives are theirs. They are for us, and we are for them,and God is for all of us! This is true covenant love-bonds are, and they must flow in three ways. God's love to us and our love to God, and then from that love, we love one another. This is love's greatest expression, and it is the true "unity of the Holy Spirit."Beloved, these are the relationships that God is developing in Colorado, Viriginia, New York, Arizona, Mexico and South Africa for us. Relationships based in the "quality of the love of God that He has bestowed on us."

I really hate the word "ministry" today. It makes me want to throw up. For most of today's ministry is work "without" God's love dwelling in us as found in 1st Corinthians 13. Most of what we do today could be seen by God as "useless clanging bells, having a form of Godliness, but denying the power there of." Something has to change, Beloved! Missionary work isn't just a helping hand, but a loving and lasting heart. It is the establishment of covenant love, God's love for us, our love for Him, and then loving one another as He has loved us. This love doesn't boast, it is not unbecomingly. It is not rude, proud, or even aware of itself or what it does. It is just love, God's love in us bringing forth the true fruit of the Spirit. Isn't that what covenant love is, or what love bonds are to look like?

In South Africa, I learned to listen and watch carefully. I noticed how much the Pastor loves juice, real juice, not our watered down kind. So when He comes to America, I am going to find the finest juices I can get. Why? Because I know He likes it! I am going to find the foods that satisfy him. Why, because I love him with all the love of Jesus.

Would I do know less for Jesus Himself? Wouldn't I ask Him what He would like to eat and prepare Him his favorite dish? This is what love does! It finds out how to lay down it's life in a pleasing way to the one it loves! Maybe this won't make sense to many of you. I found most relationships today even in the Body of Christ to be so very shallow, I am afraid. We may fellowship together and learn to eat together, but to find out what one truly loves and try to bless them is another thing.

Love is not just martyrdom alone, it is intimacy and knowing the Lord as He would want to be known. Beloved, I want to love Him the way He wants to be loved, not the way I think He does. I want to serve and obey Him from His idea of service and obedience and not mine. I am tired of giving God what I think He wants, I want to know what He wants. I want to know what blesses His heart. I don't want to bring a song, when He wants a tear. I don't want to bring a work, when He wants to be worshiped. I don't want to bring a sacrifice like Cain, when He wants Abel's. Nor do I want to do that for any brother or sister in Christ either?

You will find on our website many links to other ministries because I know that they are very valuable to the Body of Christ, but very few have asked us to link to theirs? In that little example, I can show you the difference between a work bond relationship in some cases and a love bond relationship in others. Now some websites are not able to do that, and for others that are linked to us perhaps God told them to have no other links on theirs. That is perfectly alright. It is just as bad to do something just for the sake of doing something. But to others who God has joined us with in love bonds, that was the first thing they wanted to do!

Why? Because there is a hunger to be a family in the House of God. The true family we are called to be in real genuine love-bond relationships. (Just a note for my dear friends and partners, please understand I am not asking to be linked to your site or speaking about you personally) It is just an example to explain the knitting together of hearts for teaching sake! A link to a website is not the only sign of these love bonds either. Some of our precious family of God througout the USA are linked together in other important ways as well that are not seen on a website, equally as precious to God. (Hope I have made that clear, that this is just a teaching point)

Beloved, Hosea chapter 6:3 says, "Let us press on to know the Lord, His going forth is as sure as the dawn . Let us find out what blesses God's heart, then He can teach us to love and bless each other the way He loves us. Only then can we establish true love-bond relationships.

Thank you Pastor Chetachukwu, your family, and church for loving as your family. For taking the time to truly know us and what our real needs were, and loving doing all you could do to meet them. I pray we showed and demonstrated that love back to you as well. May God continue to knit our hearts into His. and that we would become one even as He is one with the Father. These are the love-bonds that must arise in this last days. The love-bonds that will never break.

Thank you family of God in Colorado, Arizona, Virginia, New York for taking the time to do the same thing for us, and all the love you have shown us as well. I pray we will do the same for you even more in the days ahead.

I close with this truth the Holy Spirit taught me. "Work-bonds can never last, and Love-bonds can never break." Work- bonds only last as long as you agree to work together, you can break them any time you want. Love bonds can never break. They are not based on working together but loving together, even as I have loved you."

Your fellow bond-servant in Christ!

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