A Seed Donor or a Spiritual Father?

Beloved,  This blog could be helpful to those who are truly desiring to be a Godly Father and Husband.

Today of Father's Day, there are many who consider themselves fathers, because they got married and impregnated their wives and now have children of just had children out of wedlock living with their girlfriend or moved on to the next woman.

Yet in reality, many are clueless as what it means to truly be a Father and a Christian Father. Many have no intention of entering the covenant of marriage to truly lead their family. As my Father-in-law would always say, "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free." He said that not to encourage living together or to have pre-marital sex, but to share the wrong of living together and that sin without being married.

Many young men lack understanding or even desire to be married or live a life pleasing to God. These I am going to call seed donors. They lack character and morals to truly be what the Bible terms a Godly Husband and Spiritual Father. They may have never learned them themselves.

We live in a nation that has destroyed the true understanding of Fatherhood. We consider a good father as one that fathers a child out of wedlock, sends their child support each month and does a nice thing for their kids once in a while, their x, or whatever they call the woman they made the baby with.

In reality we have a generation of "sperm donors" calling themselves Father's because they are biologically one at best.  They live a self-centered, flesh pleasing life with little regard to their wife, woman or their children. The like the title daddy, but it is name only. A father is much more than a "sperm donor" in God's eyes.

With the plaque of dis-functional families upon our nation and even in the house of God, today, on Father's day let us show the 7 things that a Christian Father should have as character in their life to lead their families.

This teaching is a collection from others and myself that through the Word of God see what does God require us as Fathers and Husbands entrusted with the most sacred gifts of a wife and children. Let us see today if we measure up to what God's desires are, and if not, perhaps truly repent and turn to God!

The 7 measurements of being a Christian Father according to the Word of God:

1. Be a Godly Example

There are many attributes which can be ascribed to what a father should be. I'm sure we have our own ideas of what a father ought to be; however, the world's opinion of a father doesn't always line up with what God says a father ought to be.

The world feels that a father doesn't amount to much unless he's successful in the business world. People in the world believe that we should treat our family right, be active socially, be a member of a church, and be active in all the school activities; but God has a plan for fathers.

While some (perhaps all) of those attributes are wholesome concerning the role of a father, there's all a role that a successful father has in relationship to his Heavenly Father, and this relationship far outweighs any of those other qualities.

Let's study some of the attributes the Word of God points out as being those a godly father possesses, one upon whom God puts His seal of approval. Not every father is a father with whom God is pleased. There's a difference between what is accepted as a standard by the world and what God accepts.

According to the Greek translation, the word "father" means nourisher, protector, and upholder. If we would study the Jewish fathers in the Old Testament, we would find that they were reverenced, respected, and honored, but they had to earn this honor.

A Christian Father must provide and nourish his family and not suffer neglect or lack: 1 Timothy 5: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

Honor your Mother and Father: A Christian Father has to earn this honor. They had to love God first of all. Not every father is one with whom God is pleased. Why?---not all fathers love God. A father with whom God is pleased keeps God first in his live. There are Fathers who say they love God, but their lives say the opposite, and they have not PLEASED GOD!

Fathers must set the example for their families when it comes to loving God. We show our love to God through our obedience. Jesus said in John 14:15, "If ye love me, keep my commandments." We show our love to God by our communion with Him and by our faithfulness to Him. As a father, we cannot expect our household to be faithful to God if we ourselves are not faithful. They are watching us!

Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-38: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment." Fathers, let's ask ourselves, is this our testimony? Is this the example that we are setting forth in our home? Can our family testify and say, "I know my father loves God because God is first in his life? As God looks upon us, is He number one in our life?

2. Exercise Love and Kindness

Not only does a Christian father love God, but he also loves his wife and children. Paul said in Ephesians 5:25-28: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."

Verse 33 says, "Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Husbands, not only should we have a love for God, but we should truly have a love for our wife.

If we truly love her, we won't treat her like a piece of dirt that we walk on daily. That's wrong and God is not pleased with it; furthermore, He won't bless us in it.

Let's not treat our wife as a slave. She's not a slave; she's a helpmeet, and there's a vast difference between the two.

How do we treat our wife? Let's also not treat her as though she has not part in the decisions of the household, and let's not put her down.

Some wonder why there's no love between the husband and the wife. If we would bestow love on her, if she's any kind of woman at all, she will give it right back. Do we truly love our wife? Paul said in Colossians 3:19, "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." 

3. A Father leads His family:

A true father not only loves his children, but he commands his household. Proverbs 6:20 says, "My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother."

The Bible says in Genesis 18:18-19: "Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him. for I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken to him."

Joshua, speaking in Joshua 24:14-15, says: "Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord.

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

It's a father's duty to see that the commandments of God are carried out in his home by all members of the household. a true father commands with love and respect, but also with firmness to ensure his family knows God's ways.

4. Teaching Our Children Godly Principles: 

What else does a father do? He trains his children. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

A father should train his children to be faithful Christian soldiers, to obey the Word of God, and to reverence, esteem, and elevate the Word of God in their lives. 

Lets' train our children to walk in the light of the Word as it's revealed to them. Are you doing these things in leading your family?

Let's teach our children that they cannot cut corners and get by, and that no one can do wrong and get by. Someone may ask, "How do you do that?" The best way to do it is by letting them see godly principles set forth in our own life. Let's teach them to fear and reverence God. May God help us to have the good, old-fashioned fear of God.

Oh, how it's needed! Children will fear and reverence God when they see that thing in our life.

The reason a lot of children don't fear and reverence God as they should is because of what Mom and Dad do within the walls of their home.

We need to train and teach them in the way they should go. Yes, it is a big job! Again, let's impress upon our children that God should be number one in their lives.

Today some parents are impressing upon their children that other things need to be first in their hearts, if they are to become successful.

Let's not impress upon our children that sports are to be number one in their lives and that to be successful they need to be a good athlete. To be successful, God must be number one in their lives.

Also, let's impress upon our children that to be successful in life, God must be the apex of their lives in whatever vocation they choose. When He is not put first in their lives, the Spirit of God will drain out of their lives and they will become defeated and lost.

5. Taking Time to Provide Proper Training:

I'm sharing about a Christian father, a father whom God will honor; a father upon whom God bestows His love, a father whom God blesses. I know it's a big job to train children, but we must train them by taking time with them.

Let's not allow ourselves to become too busy. If we get too busy, we'll lose them to the world. It's not all mom's job to keep the family going; our children also need that godly counsel that only a father can provide. We have a responsibility to teach them and train them.

A father should teach his children how to pray. How?---by allowing our children to hear us do it. We shouldn't just tell them to pray; we should show them how. We also need to let them actually see us reading and studying the Word of God.

I wasn't raised in a Christian home, but there were some principles that my dad taught us. I was taught not to speak disrespectfully to Mom and Dad.

I was never allowed to sass my parents, and if we allow it, we will reap it. Let's not allow our children to show disrespect to the elders or to the house of God. I couldn't even talk in church back then. I was taught to honor God and even in the building where we met.

The house of God is consecrated and dedicated to the work of God, and our children should be taught to respect it.

Someone may ask, "How should they be taught?" We need to keep them with us; not allowing them to run all over the house of God!

I know it takes a little bit of our time and we may not always be able to do the things that we want to do; nevertheless, God called us to be a father, and that comes first.

There are people who we are trying to win to Christ, and when they see our children running this way and that way, and even almost run them down, they may think, "What kind of a place is this!"

Not ruling over you children sets a poor example of true Fatherhood. It demonstrates a lack of respect for God who is Holy. If a child has rule in the house and does whatever they want, we teach them chaos, rebellion and wickedness instead of righteousness and true holy living in God.

Let's teach our children to respect their pastors, whether we always agree with them or not.  I have been called the worse names by some. In those who did that their parents or parent never taught them true respect from God, or they learned the disrespect from the unsaved parent.

Why respect?---we might want them to pray for our children or try to reach them sometime, and if we've done nothing but gnaw on the pastors and show disrespect, they won't be able to reach the children; it will be impossible!

Not only should we teach them to respect the pastors, but let's teach them to respect all the saints of God!

6. Chastening-- To save their souls: 

A father not only needs to train his children, but he also needs to chasten and even rebuke when necessary. What do I mean?---stand up to them and tell them when they're wrong.

This is not easy when sin is an acceptable thing even in the church. To tell your son and daughter that their living together is evil in God's sight is not popular. Telling them you will not fellowship with them until they get out of the adulteress affair is not popular, but lying to them is worse by accepting their sin as acceptable in God's sight.

We read in Job 2:9-10: "Then said his wife unto him, dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die. But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips." So, if the need arises we need also to correct our wives.

There are times when we'll need to correct members of our families---not harshly--and with love if they will listen. That's a father's and husband's duty, and God will hold us responsible. God expects us to lovingly restrain sin, rebuke and chasten as necessary.

Sometimes we must get very firm and unmoving to try to make a wall put before them so they can see the error of their ways. A Father's firm word can do wonders to break a strong stubborn rebellious will.

In contrast to the example of Job who quickly corrected his companion, there's a brother mentioned in the Bible who didn't stand up to his children. In 1 Samuel, Chapter 3, we can read the story of a priest by the name of Eli. He would neither retrain his sons nor chastise them. So God intervened and did it for him.

1 Samuel 3:12-14: In that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end.  

13"For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.  

14: Therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever."

We must correct and discipline our children no matter how old they are and teach them the difference between the Holy and the profane. This is our roles as Kings and Priest of our homes and our Spiritual Father's responsibility before God. God will judge our homes as He did with Eli, if we refuse to lead our families in the ways of God and not correct the errors of their ways.

There are enough people who could testify as to what their homes were like when they didn't correct their children. If our son or daughter warrants a spanking, let's not just threaten them---we must do it! The Bible instructs us to, "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not they soul spare for his crying" (Proverbs 19:18).  We should never physically abuse them, but sometime the old time correction of spanking is needed.

7. Be like your Heavenly Father: 

A godly father should be like his Heavenly Father. Notice that all the attributes of a Christian father are attributes of our Heavenly Father. To be a true father, we should be like our Heavenly Father--holy and righteous. The only way we can manifest these attributes are if we dwell in Him.

There are some homes upon which God cannot place His smile of approval. They are existing as man and wife, and they have children, but God's blessings don't rest upon that home. 

Why? The are out of harmony with God first of all, and when that happens, they are out of harmony with each other. 

It's a shame that many can't even get along with their companions, yet they still profess to be a child of God; something is wrong.
A Christian marriage isn't built on looks, it must go deeper than that.

When a young man decides to take a wife, he should check her spirit. Why? We can't build a marriage on good looks. No, that's why movie stars get divorced and remarried several times. Young Christian woman should not take a husband just because he says the right words, or he is super handsome, She should check his spirit to see if his life aligns with his profession of faith!

Conclusion: is God pleased with you as a Christian Father? 

How is our love to God? our wife? our children? If we are truly a father who wants to live right and act right, God is number one in our life?

Do we command our household and give instruction? Are we training our children in the way they should go?

If we have a godly father's heart, we'll be grieved when one of our children goes astray. Do we stand up for what is right, even if it is against our wife, our children, or whoever is wrong? Do we rebuke, correct, and chasten when it's necessary? 

Do we nourish and care for our family and provide for our household? Do we make sure they have a roof over their head, our bills paid and have the security of a safe and loving household?

As God looks upon us (never mind what people thing about us, it's what God thinks about us that truly counts), and in the light of the Word of God, how do we line up with the Word of God? Do we truly love God? 

 If we do, our wife and children will know it, our neighbors will know it, and our place of employment will know it. God cannot be number one in our life without others being affected.

Much responsibility rests upon our shoulders, and to really fulfill the position that God has called us to fill, we need the Spirit of God reigning in our heart and life every day.

Is Christ reigning in our heart? If not, He can be and He must be. Let's not try to be a father without the Spirit of God. It's a task in itself with the Spirit of God, let alone without Him. Christ can be reigning in our heart today if we'll yield to Him and then we will be the Fathers and Husbands, God has called us to be.